US and World Bank Push Bolivian Rock Export Program

The US Embassy and the World Bank announced joint plans today to help Bolivia launch a program to export the nation’s rocks to other countries. Under the plan, “The Andean Rock Export Initiative”, the US and the Bank hope that Bolivia can begin exporting as many as 750,000 rocks by the end of this year, doubling that figure in 2006.

“It has been noted in the research for a decade that each nation needs to integrate itself into the global economy based on its particular competitive advantages,” said a Bank spokesman, Richard Fuller. “In Bolivia’s case that is rocks. Bolivia has a lot of rocks.”

The US and Bank-backed initiative anticipates benefiting Bolivia’s many low-income workers in particular. Bank officials estimate that as many as 10,000 workers could be employed picking up the rocks and putting them into the back of trucks. “There certainly is some skill required in selecting rocks suitable for export, and unfortunately we anticipate that many of those ‘high end’ jobs my end up going to foreigners, who have university training and other lapidary skills,” said a Bank official. “Nevertheless, there will be a lot of dignified work for rock picker-uppers and Bolivia needs unemployment.”

The Bolivian sub-minister for export, Rogelio Cruz, said that the government was surprised at first by the US/Bank proposal to export rocks. “Really, it sounded a little goofy to us when we first heard it,” he said. “But these people are well-trained global economists and we are willing to follow their lead.”

The Embassy here said that they hope that rock export can become a viable alternative development project, replacing the nation’s illegal coca leaf crop. “Obviously,” said one Embassy official, “we would much rather see Bolivian rocks entering the US than cocaine. They are also a good deal easier to track.”

Bank and US officials were unclear on exactly who the international market would be for Bolivian rocks. “We haven’t completely worked that out yet”, said Embassy economic officer, Larry Morgan. “We have a number of US companies that have submitted proposals for USAID funding to develop foreign markets.” One company, a sex toys outlet in Miami, has proposed marketing the rocks as a virility aid which buyers would put under their sheets at night. A marketing plan by the company suggests the rocks be promoted as “Andean Viagra”.

Until a foreign market is developed, the Bolivian rocks will be stored temporarily in a warehouse near Omaha, Nebraska. The costs for hiring Bolivian workers, shipping the rocks to the US, and paying foreign consultants on market development, will be financed through a $50 million World Bank loan to Bolivia. Bank officials said they felt confident that Bolivia would easily be able to repay the loan and the 10% annual interest on it through eventual rock sales.

“We feel that this program is emblematic of the forward thinking yet practical approach to poor country development that the new World Bank President, Paul D. Wolfowitz can bring to the institution,” said an Embassy official, speaking off the record. “Actually, this program was his idea.”

When asked for comment on the rock export initiative, Socialist Party leader Evo Morales responded, “Rocks? We are going to export rocks?”

The program will be inaugurated in late May and Bank and US officials say that the first rocks should arrive for sale in the US by early October, with shipping to be done through the Bolivian postal service.

Happy April Fools from the Democracy Center.