A US Official’s Advice to Bolivian Graduates

On Saturday I had the odd privilege of attending the graduation ceremonies at the “American” school here, where my son Miguel was among the graduating seniors. I say odd because, from a comic perspective, I think the highlight was the commencement address offered up by the enthusiastic gentleman sent by the US Embassy to offer up some words of wisdom to the grads and their parents, Mr. Tim Sears.

Mr. Sears’s introduction itself was a bit comic. The head of the school board, a Bolivian who has been a major recipient of USAID funding in the past, forgot to introduce Mr. Sears altogether – leaving the Embassy official in the awkward position of sashaying to the podium without introduction and the USAID recipient having to apologize later for the oversight.

I desperately wanted to shout out, “Hey Rudy, you can kiss any more USAID money goodbye now buddy!” But I restrained myself in the name of my son’s dignity – something always in jeopardy for my kids when Dad is in the house.

Mr. Sears, who confessed to scribbling out his speaking notes while approaching the runway at Miami International Airport, cheerily offered what he told the graduates were three challenges they faced in the future and three pieces of advice. I can’t say I recall all of those, but here are a few I remember.

“Global warming,” that was one of the challenges faced by the graduating class of 2006. I am not sure if this was the first time that a Bush administration official has formally acknowledged the melting of the ice caps, but we all certainly appreciated his candor. Given that the US currently burns 25% of the world’s fuel and refuses to comply with international anti-global warming agreements, and Bolivia is left to basically being a glacier-melting spectator, I found the advice odd.

His advice to the graduates included, “fasten your seatbelts,” which I presumed to be a figurative remark that would lead to some observation about the fast and unpredictable pace of the future. Actually, he meant it literally as in – wear your seatbelts when riding in cars. I waited in vain for some spunky member of the senior class to yell out, “Hey mister, if the glacier melts are going to kill us are seat belts really that important?” But no such outburst of youthful cool was forthcoming. I was left longing for the class of 1975.

Mr. Sears also encouraged students to keep reading and advised that anything would do. His reading suggestions ranged from Web sites to comic books for adults. I could hear the Australian school librarian muttering incredulities under her breath. It was only for the sake of my son’s fragile dignity that I stopped myself from yelling out, “Hey mister, what about porn sites?” But I suppose one written word is as good as another, no?

I felt personally proud when the representative of the US government quoted, before the vastly Bolivian audience, that most esteemed of US philosophers, Woody Allen (something from Annie Hall about dead sharks and romantic relationships). I knew I was the only one there who probably got the reference.

I can’t testify as to what impact the advice from the Embassy had on the graduates. Glancing into the 4x4s in which the Bolivian elite and their kids went off to celebratory lunches, I still saw an awful lot of seatbelts dangling user-less from the doors. And as our family left in a battered Toyota Corolla cab, no click of seatbelts was to be heard there either.

After a morning of platitudes, a steady stream of “today we end an era of our lives” and “now we go out into our futures” and “buckle up young ones” I pondered what I would have said if given the podium for a few minutes. It has been a long time (31 years) since I stood at a podium in a high school stadium in Whittier and delivered my own commencement speech (with my mind half on the all night party at Disneyland that would come afterwards).

I guess I would say to the class of 2006 the following:

Forget everything else people tell you and just find one thing in the world that you love to do, that you are good at, and that leaves the world somewhat better for your having been here. Avoid materialism. Embrace creativity and craziness. Be careful of ruts and conformity. As for seatbelts – yeah, buckle-up. But more importantly, make sure the road you are driving on is yours and not one someone else picked out for you.

Of course, no one asked me.