U.S./Bolivia Relations: Another Outbreak of Foolishness

Well, just when it seemed like the diplomatic wars between the Morales Administration and the U.S. Embassy here had died down – making it safe to visit that new Pirates of the Caribbean ride opening up in Oruro – both sides are back at it.

The latest round began with the appearance of a photo, a shot of a slightly smiling Ambassador Phillip S. Goldberg at the big annual commercial fair in Santa Cruz. One one side he is flanked by a well-known Santa Cruz civic leader and vocal adversary of Morales. On Goldberg’s other side stands a young man in a white t-shirt – a fellow later identified as a Colombian recently jailed by Bolivian authorities for suspected "guerilla activities." Not the kind of company a U.S. Ambassador generally likes to keep in public.

"Hey, Let's Walk Around ExpoCruz and Plot Against Evo."

The Goldberg photo exploded its way into the Bolivian media just over a week ago, wrapped in a new round of Bolivian government denunciations and conspiracy theories. Angry Foreign Ministry officials announced that they were demanding an explanation from Goldberg. The U.S. Embassy responded that it was just like dozens of other sort-of-a-celebrity photos taken of Goldberg while in public with people he doesn't know. President Evo Morales, nevertheless, took the photo and ran with it, all the way to his address before a Latin American Presidential summit a week ago in Chile. Waving the photo in the air, he cited it as further evidence of a U.S. plot against him.

Conspiracy?

Let's see. The U.S. Ambassador wanted to engage in clandestine planning for an anti-Evo assault with a leading Santa Cruz critic and a Colombian paramilitary operative. Inconveniently, all the usual secret spots were occupied that day, so instead they went for a walk around ExpoCruz. Yes, that's how it went down. Standard Embassy coup-planning operating procedure.

Okay, while Mr. Goldberg has certainly botched a few things here these past few months, could we please have a little reality check here?

Goldberg explained later, "I know that many people come up to me as Ambassador of the U.S. to take photos and it isn't because I am so handsome. It is because I am the Ambassador of the U.S." Does anyone, even Morales, really believe that Goldberg would be so stupid to be knowingly hanging out in public with a genuine coup operative? Oh yes, and professional wrestling is real too.

[A disclosure: There is a photo that exists of me standing beside both Evo Morales and Hugo Chavez, taken, similarly, at a public event. If the U.S. Embassy requests that I release it, I will.]

"My Big Brother is Gonna Beat You Up."

Now, a more savvy diplomat would have simply offered his explanation to the Bolivian media and government that this was a picture, like dozens of others, taken in a public place standing next to someone he didn't know. A more savvy diplomat would have left it at that and watched, with some amusement, as the President he so dislikes made a fool of himself by belaboring the photo-as-conspiracy charge. But alas, Mr. Goldberg seems to have been absent on ‘savvy day’ at Ambassador school.

This week, while walking out of an event in La Paz, Goldberg declared to the Bolivian press that, in response to Morales' recent declarations against him, the U.S. State Department had called in Bolivia's U.S. ambassador to rake him over the coals. "Our government has expressed its disappointment over these accusations." This is diplomatic speak for, "See, now my big brother [in Washington] is going to beat you up."

First, there is the question of how much Goldberg's superiors in Washington really want to get dragged into his ongoing tit-for-tat with Morales. I tired to imagine the call:

"Secretary Shannon, it's Ambassador Goldberg on the phone from Bolivia again. He says Morales is still being mean to him."

"Ayyy, geeze, again?"

In the immediate aftermath of Goldberg’s declaration there was a good deal of confusion about whether it was actually true. Bolivia's Washington Ambassador, Gustavo Guzman, told AP, that he hadn’t been called in for any such scolding. A State Department spokeswoman then told the press,"We have regular meetings with officials of the Embassy of Bolivia and other countries to talk about our bilateral relations." Not exactly how you might describe an Ambassador being called in to hear a reprimand about Presidential rhetoric.

On Thursday, events got so confusing that Los Tiempos here ran the story two ways. It’s morning headline read, "The U.S. Calls in Bolivia's Ambassador in Washington." By mid-afternoon the paper had changed its headline (on its Web site) to, "The Government of the U.S. Has Not Called in the Bolivian Ambassador to Express its Disappointment." By day’s end the State Department spokesman decided to chime in on Goldberg’s behalf, issuing a statement saying that the State Department had spoken to Ambassador Guzman and said it wanted Morales to stop making the photo accusation.

What was really said and when still remains unclear.

Again, all this is pretty ridiculous from the Morales side. If the government here is intent on scoring points in diplomatic tit-for-tats with the U.S. Embassy, it should have stopped after the ammo at the airport episode, in which the Ambassador offered up a good case study for foreign service students about how not to handle an incident. But the 'photo as conspiracy' business just serves as equal fodder for a session on how not to be a President.

For his part, one assumes that Mr. Goldberg is here to facilitate good working relations with the host government, not to find new and inventive ways every week to keep his name and image in the media. Did he really think that a statement from Washington was going to move Evo to listen to his more rational impulses, or make Goldberg's diplomatic relations easier?

More and more these two look like two people in a bad marriage looking for new and inventive ways to provoke each other. It sort of makes you wish that one of them, at least, would have the good sense to start acting like a grown-up. Shall we take bets on the Blog about what goofy thing they’ll fight over next, and when?

By the way, in that photo of Chavez, Morales and I – we were discussing global domination, and beer.